I have an obsession with time or lack thereof. I always feel like there is never enough and before you know it, today, tomorrow and last year in fact are gone like a vapor.
It has been 1 year since my stepdad was diagnosed with Pancreatic and Liver cancer. He is still here. He has been through so much. When I asked him what his New Year's Eve wish was this year, he said "One more year."
I have been so fortunate. My Dad died when I was 10 but the universe saw fit to give me another Dad who could not love me more if I were his own. Two father's, two teacher's, two mentor's. Who could ask for more? Some people don't even get one worth having, right? I got two!
I never did get a chance to say goodbye to my biological father before he died so I really look at this situation as a gift. A chance to say goodbye. Time to talk, time to sit quietly by his bedside, time to tell funny stories, time to reminisce, time to hold his hand, time to look into his eyes, sweet and precious time that I know is fleeting and will be gone soon.
My heart aches unspeakably in having to lose him but I think we are all just "on loan" to each other to begin with.